


Blueberries (A SwanQueen Christmas Story)

by Queenbee3480



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: But I don't care, Christmas Fluff, F/F, Fluff, That's how I like them, WAY TOO SWEET, blueberries are sweet damnit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28052934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenbee3480/pseuds/Queenbee3480
Summary: Emma makes an ass out of herself at the Rabbit Hole just in time for Christmas. But maybe that is not such a bad thing.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 11
Kudos: 108





	Blueberries (A SwanQueen Christmas Story)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FrumiousBandersnatch15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrumiousBandersnatch15/gifts).



> In honor of you and all your crazy comments that always make me smile. Merry Christmas, friend.

“Women,” announced Emma to Ruby and the rest of the Rabbit Hole, “are like blueberries.”

Ruby choked on the beer she was sipping. “What?”

“Blueberries,” Emma said firmly. It made so much sense.

“How do you figure?” By now they had been joined by a number of people, all eager to hear the rest of this. Ruby exchanged an amused glance with Belle French and took another sip from her bottle.

“Think about it.” Emma waved her arms as her voice picked up in excitement. “Blueberries are gorgeous. They look so enticing, all round and vibrant like that. Right?”

“Right.”

“But then you take a bite and they never taste the way you are expecting them to. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the stems. Always getting stuck in your teeth and shit. Gross.”

“Absolutely,” Ruby agreed seriously.

“I fucking hate those little bastards. How dare they look so pretty and then cause so many problems? Like heartburn. Blueberries should leave my heart alone, you know?”

“Uh, huh.” Ruby discretely shook her head at the bartender that Emma waved over. She enjoyed a night out as much as the next girl, maybe even more than most. But once you started comparing the fairer sex to fruit, it might be time to call it a night.

Unfortunately, the rest of Emma’s audience did not appear to agree. “So, men are not like blueberries, then?” a voice from the crowd asked.

Emma picked up the ball and ran with it. “Hell no, they’re not.”

“Not even Hook?”

“Eww. No. Definitely not. Hook is more like…..rancid tuna. Yep, that’s it.”

The laughter that rose from the crowd spurred her on. This was the first time since they returned from Neverland that she had allowed herself to let loose and it felt great. No Neal and his puppy dog eyes. No slimy pirate slithering around her, hoping for another kiss in a moment of vulnerability. Just whiskey, friends, and fun.

And, apparently, blueberries.

“Any particular blueberry you have your eye on?”

Her eyes widened at the sight of the newcomer. “Tink!” she shouted.

Tinkerbell grinned at her. “I knew coming out tonight was a good idea. So anyway, which blueberry has caught your eye, Emma?”

When it came to girl’s night out Ruby had a reputation for letting things go just a bit further than they should. She loved to let her hair down and she really loved when her friends got just loose lipped enough to make things interesting. Still, something told her that if she let things continue Emma would go from being mortified tomorrow morning to being damn near suicidal.

“I think that’s enough for one night, Emma.” Disappointed boos met her statement, but Ruby stayed strong. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

The crowd dispersed after they left, but somehow no one noticed the brunette sitting silently in the corner watching the scene play out. Quietly, Regina paid for her drink and slipped out the door.

\------------------------------------------------

The parade of blueberries, as it came to be known in Emma’s mind, began the next morning. It started innocently enough: a blueberry parfait left on her desk in the sheriff’s office. She rolled her eyes and walked over to the diner with it.

“Very funny Ruby,” she said, slamming it down on the counter.

“I agree, it is. But I didn’t do it.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Sure, you didn’t.”

“I swear Emma. I have no idea who gave that to you, but it wasn’t me.” The waitress picked up her tray and began loading drinks onto it. “Look, I have customers, but I’ll call you later, ok?”

Unconvinced, Emma picked up the parfait and threw it in the trash before returning to work.

The next day it was a freshly baked blueberry muffin. Scowling, she snatched it off her desk and went to get rid of it.

“Hey! What are you doing?”

“Ruby is having herself a great time mocking me,” she explained to David.

“That’s a blueberry muffin! If you don’t want it, give it here. I’ll eat it.”

Grunting, she handed it over and watched the look of bliss on his face when he took a bite.

“This is really good, honey. You should try it.”

She grudgingly broke off a piece of the muffin and put it in her mouth. It wasn’t bad, but still. Pumpkin would have been so much better, and she said as much to Ruby when she went to the diner for lunch.

“Just so you know that muffin was too sweet,” she complained.

“Emma, I haven’t got the slightest idea what you’re talking about. If someone is giving you blueberry treats, I promise it isn’t me.”

Emma stared at her for a moment. Her inner lie detector was not giving off any vibes at all and so she gave up with a sigh. “Ok. I believe you.”

Her sigh was met with a cheeky grin. “So. Secret admirer, huh?”

She rolled her eyes. “More likely someone messing with me because of my drunken rant the other night. I’m sure they’ll get bored soon.”

“Yeah, probably. So, no idea who it is?”

“Considering that until 5 seconds ago I thought it was _you_ , no, I have no idea. Do you?”

Ruby shrugged lightly. “There were a lot of people at the Rabbit Hole that night. Could be any of them.”

That was true enough. In fact, the only good thing to have come out of that disaster was that word got back to Hook about her rancid tuna comment and he had finally stopped coming around to bother her. Too bad she hadn’t made a similar comment about Neal.

“Well, I wish they would stop. It’s annoying.”

“I think it’s cute. Did they leave a note or anything?”

That was an interesting idea. She ran back to her office and fished the bag that had contained the muffin out of the trash can. Sure enough, there was a small violet colored piece of paper in it.

_Blueberries are far more versatile than you think._

That was it. That was the whole note.

The next few days passed much the same way. Wednesday brought a blueberry tart, along with another note.

_I understand the muffin was too sweet. Perhaps this will be more to your liking._

Thursday was a plate of blueberry pancakes and the message, _You really should eat breakfast more often. It will make your days so much easier._

This was getting annoying. Worse, it was getting sweet and she found herself looking forward to seeing what blueberry treat would find its way to her desk next.

Emma Swan did not like sweet and it was making her very irritable.

Friday brought something new. It was a walnut box containing a sprig of fresh blueberry flowers. _If the taste is not to your liking, perhaps you can just enjoy the sight._

She glanced around to make sure she was alone in the office, then raised the flowers to her face to smell. She still didn’t know who was sending these gifts to her, but she was becoming less convinced they were meant as a prank.

\----------------------------------------------

The weekend came along, and she wondered if the gifts would make their way to her house instead of her office. Saturday passed with no sign of anything and she could not help the twinge of disappointment in her belly.

Sunday morning was much the same, except she found herself eating a blueberry yogurt for breakfast.

“What?” she asked in irritation when she saw her parent grinning at her.

“I thought you hated blueberries,” Mary Margaret pointed out. “That’s what you’ve been saying all week, anyway.”

“I do.” Her voice sounded short and clipped, even to her own ears.

“I’m sure the gifts will be back tomorrow when you go back to the office,” said David. “You’ll probably even find 2 to make up for the weekend.”

Instead of replying, she bent over her yogurt, hoping they wouldn’t notice that her ears were turning pink. She had already swung by the office yesterday to check and there was no gift.

Sunday evening brought a surprise, but it wasn’t in the form of a blueberry gift. It was the mayor at her doorstep.

“Is that what you’re wearing, Miss Swan?” she asked. The judgement was clear in voice, but Emma had no idea what she was talking about. Yeah, she was in sweats, but she was home alone. What business was it of Regina’s what she wore in her own apartment?

The mayor sighed. “It’s the Christmas tree lighting tonight,” she reminded Emma.

Shit. “I’m really not in the mood,” she said.

Regina lifted an eyebrow. “You’re not getting out of it that easily, Miss Swan. If I have to go, so do you.”

“You’re the mayor, Regina. Of course, you have to go. You’re lighting the damn tree.”

“And you’re the sheriff,” the mayor shot back. “You’re needed for crowd control.”

That earned her an incredulous snort. “Crowd control? In Storybrooke?”

Regina shook her head emphatically. “We promised Henry we would both be there,” she reminded her.

Damn it. “Ok,” she gave in with a sigh. “Come on in, I just need a few minutes to change.”

15 minutes later, the two of them were heading out. “New jacket?” she asked Regina.

Regina smoothed her hand over her bright blue wool coat. “No, I’ve had this for a while.”

Emma nodded. The jacket looked amazing on her. It fit perfectly and the color….well it was really hard not to think of other things that were that same color.

‘ _Damn blueberries,'_ she thought to herself.

“Miss Swan?” She looked up to see Regina staring at her in confusion.

“It’s nice,” she said.

“Thank you.” Regina flashed a rare smile and Emma could feel her bad mood begin to lift. The short walk to the town square further helped her mood along and by the time they arrived at the tree, she was glad Regina had guilted her into coming.

“Find Henry, Miss Swan. I’ll join the two of you after the ceremony.” She nodded and went to find her son and parents.

The ceremony was short and simple. The choir sang a few Christmas songs, then Regina gave a short speech. She spoke of the spirit of the holidays and the importance of family and for the most part, everyone paid attention. Ruby smiled at her grandmother and Mary Margaret put her hand in David’s. Emma stood with her arm around her son as she listened. Regina was an eloquent speaker, and it was obvious she was speaking from the heart.

It would have been perfect, except for the damn dwarves. Leroy was the one that got the ball rolling.

“What does the Evil Queen know about family?” he mumbled, just loud enough for those around him to hear. A couple of his brothers began to snicker and before long the laughter had spread through the crowd.

It wasn’t everyone that joined in and it wasn’t even really loud enough to matter. But the steady waves of quiet titters reached Regina’s ears and Emma could see her face grow hard as she quickly finished her speech, plugged in the tree, and stalked off. Emma exchanged a glance with Henry and they quickly followed.

“She must have transported,” Henry said when they escaped the crowd and Regina was nowhere to be seen.

“Yeah, well, let’s go home and get the Bug. That will give her a few minutes to calm down before we join her.”

“Why did they do that, Emma?” His brown eyes were looking up at her as though she had all the answers.

“I don’t know, kid. People suck? That’s all I got.”

He nodded solemnly and they walked towards the mansion. Regina opened the door, her face a blank mask of indifference.

“What are you doing here, Miss Swan?”

“Henry invited me for cocoa,” she said with a casual shrug.

“Did he now? That is interesting, considering that he lives with you and I am fairly certain you can make cocoa at your apartment.”

“I wanted to hang out with you,” Henry interjected cheerfully. He grinned at his brunette mother and darted into the kitchen to start prepping the cocoa.

“Do not touch the stove, Henry!” she called after him and was rewarded with a snort.

“I’m 12, Mom!” he shouted back. “Just relax and let me take care of the cocoa.”

The two women chuckled and went into the living room to wait. Regina’s Christmas tree twinkled brightly as they sat down on the couch. A moment or two passed in silence before Emma spoke.

“Hey, Regina?”

She shook her head in response. “Don’t, Emma. It doesn’t matter.”

“Leroy doesn’t matter,” she agreed. “But what happened matters.”

Regina laughed bitterly. “Does it?” she asked. “Why?”

Emma’s eyes narrowed. “Um, because _you_ matter?” she said. “Why else?”

“No, I don’t. Evil Queen, remember?” Despite her attempt to wave the incident off, the hurt in her voice was clear.

“Yes, and what does the Evil Queen know about family?” She purposefully made her voice deep and slurred her words as she pretended to stumble around the room drunkenly.

Regina’s mouth dropped open, but before she could comment Henry entered the room with the tray of cocoa. His eyes lit up when he took in the scene before him and he quickly put down the tray.

“Look, Mom!” he shouted as he pretended to fall down on the ground. She looked at him in shock when he opened his eyes and began to speak in the same tone as Emma.

“Uh….does anyone remember where I live? I can’t find my house.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Emma chortled. “You spend so many nights in the drunk tank, you don’t even need a house.”

Regina bit her lip as she watched her makeshift family stumble around the room. Before she could stop herself, a chuckle dropped from her lips and Emma and Henry grinned at her happily. Gracefully, she stood and walked towards them, intending to hand out the mugs of cocoa, but just before she reached the tray, she tripped and landed on the ground hard.

Horrified, they rushed over to make sure she was ok. “Mom?” Henry asked, hesitantly.

Regina opened one eye. “Someone get me a drink,” she said lightly, sitting up. “I haven’t had one in at least 10 minutes.” She burst out laughing when Henry tackled her back onto the ground, hugging her tightly.

Emma watched them, beaming, and went to get the cocoa for real. She was stopped by a squeeze on her hand as she walked by the pair on the ground. She glanced down at Regina, who was sitting up now, still hugging their son.

“Thank you,” Regina mouthed.

“Ridiculous people deserve to be ridiculed, Regina. Don’t forget that, ok? And don't let haters get to you.”

Cocoa turned into dinner, then card games and before long Henry was yawning loudly.

“Perhaps you should be going now,” Regina said reluctantly.

“I’m too tired,” Henry said. “Can I spend the night here?”

Emma fought back a wave of pride in her son when Regina looked at her for silent permission. She nodded, delighting in the way the mayor’s face lit up.

“Cool,” Henry said, standing up. He gave Emma a quick hug good-bye, then turned to Regina. “Tuck me in?” he asked casually. He left the room before he could see her mouth drop open, but Emma saw the twinkle in his eye. She watched in satisfaction as Regina followed him to his bedroom, then returned to the living room to await Regina’s return.

She was looking at the two stockings hanging over the fireplace when Regina entered the room.

“Thank you for tonight, Miss Swan.”

She waved that off, then pointed at the stockings. “I love Christmas stockings,” she said.

“Oh? Why is that?”

She shrugged. “Gifts are nice enough,” she said. “But stocking stuffers are how people really tell you they care.”

“Is that right?”

“Yup. Gifts are over the top and usually pricey. But grabbing something at the drug store that catches your eye just cuz you know someone you care about will enjoy it? That’s the shit that really matters."

The eyebrow lifted again. “I see. Well, that’s an interesting philosophy, Miss Swan.”

Emma laughed. “Yeah, I’m weird, it’s ok to say it. But I really do need to get going now. Monday morning tomorrow and all.”

“All right.” Regina put her blue jacket back on and walked Emma to the Bug.

“Good night, Regina.”

“Good night, Miss Swan.”

“Emma,” she corrected.

“Emma,” Regina repeated. “Good night, Emma.”

\------------------------------------------------------

The week passed without anymore blueberry gifts and by Christmas Eve, Emma was ready to admit that it had been a prank after all. She fought off a wave of disappointment as she told Ruby about it.

“I wouldn’t have minded so much if it was just the stupid treats,” she admitted. “But the notes...I don’t know. It made me think that someone really cared.”

“Maybe they do,” Ruby said.

“Why would they stop then?” she asked and Ruby shrugged. She didn’t know.

“Guess I should head home,” she said. She didn’t really want to. David and Mary Margaret were out for the night and Henry was spending Christmas Eve with Regina. She was supposed to pick him up the following morning so that he could spend Christmas Day with her at the apartment. Not an idea arrangement, she thought to herself, but it had made some degree of sense when they had discussed it some weeks before.

She spent the evening in the company of whiskey and old Christmas movies. It felt a bit sad, maybe even a little pathetic, but she didn’t really know where else to go. She wondered if this was how Regina felt all the time now, since Henry had moved into the apartment with her and her parents. A wave of guilt washed over her, compounded by loneliness and liquor.

 _‘I need to do better,_ ’ she thought. And she would too, starting with inviting Regina over for Christmas dinner when she went to pick up Henry. Moodily, she walked over to the window to watch the snow fall. If she had Henry with her right now, she would have taken him outside for a snowball fight. She briefly toyed with the idea of going to Mifflin Street, but she would sooner cut off her arm than intrude on Regina’s time with Henry. That simply wasn’t fair and besides, Henry didn’t need to see her drunk like this. Her final thought before she passed out in front of the TV was a quick calculation of the hours left before it was suitable to go see her family.

When she awoke, it was still dark outside. The clock confirmed that it was only 5am and way too early to head over to the mansion. Sighing, she went to the kitchen to make coffee.

On the kitchen counter, near the coffee pot, was a small, gift-wrapped box bearing a tag with her name on it. Curious, she sat down to open it.

Her breath caught when she saw the gift. A pair of small sapphire stud earrings sparkled at her. Perfectly round and so very blue, they looked just like….

 _‘Blueberries,’_ she thought, heart pounding. She pulled the earrings out and sure enough, under the cotton was a small violet colored card.

_They are not from a drug store and they are perhaps a bit pricey to go into a stocking. Still, I thought of you when I saw them, and I hope you like them as well. Merry Christmas, Miss Swan._

All thoughts of time, coffee, and hangovers flew from her mind as she put the earrings in and transported over to Mifflin Street. She pounded on the door until Regina opened it in her nightgown, still pulling her robe on. She frowned when she saw Emma.

“Miss Swan? Is everything ok?” Her voice trailed off when she saw the earrings in Emma’s ears, and she ducked her head shyly.

“You like them, then?” she asked.

“I love them, Regina. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Would you like to come inside and have some coffee while we wait for Henry to wake up?”

She followed the mayor inside, but on her way to the kitchen, her heart stopped for the second time that morning. Hanging over the living room fireplace, where she had last seen two stockings, now hung three.

_Henry_

_Regina_

_Emma_

She glanced up at Regina in amazement, but the brunette didn’t break her stride.

“Can’t have stocking stuffers without a stocking,” she said lightly. “Come along, Miss Swan.”

She sat at the kitchen table, waiting for Regina to join her with the coffee.

“So, I guess you heard about my rant, huh?” she asked.

Regina turned from the coffee pot. “Actually, I had a front row seat. It was quite eye-opening.”

Emma groaned and rubbed her hand over her eyes. “You were at the Rabbit Hole?”

“I arrived with Tinkerbell,” she said. “By the way, she found your blueberry soliloquy truly fascinating. As did I.”

There was nothing to do but laugh at this point, so she that’s what she did as she accepted the cup of coffee.

“Not my finest moment,” she said sheepishly.

Regina shrugged. “I have one more gift for you,” she said. “I considered putting it in your stocking, but I thought it might get a bit messy.”

She looked up in confusion, until Regina placed a plate in front of her.

“Blueberry pie?” she laughed.

“I thought, perhaps under the right conditions, you could enjoy the taste of um….blueberries.” She smirked as Emma reached for her fork.

Emma placed a bite of the pie in her mouth, determined to act as though she liked it, no matter how much she detested blueberries. As it turned out, she didn’t need to worry.

“Oh my god.” A moan escaped her lips as she closed her eyes in ecstasy. “That’s incredible.” She opened her eyes to see Regina biting her lip and blushing furiously.

“You like it, then?”

She put down her fork, crossed the kitchen and pulled Regina into her arms, planting a kiss on her lips. Eagerly, Regina returned the kiss, wrapping her arms around Emma’s neck.

“The pie tastes amazing,” she said, leaning in to kiss Regina again. “You taste better.”

Regina laughed and pushed her away. “You do the Charming name proud,” she said.

“I do, don’t I?”

“Emma, I know that you were intending to spend Christmas with your family, but I was wondering….”

She interrupted her before she could finish the sentence. “I am going to spend Christmas with my family,” she said. “Right here.”

Regina’s eyes filled and she turned away quickly. “I think I’ll have a piece of that pie. See if it is as good as you say.”

Emma grinned and sat back at the table to drink her coffee. “Hey, Regina?”

“Yes?” She didn’t turn around, but it didn’t matter.

“Merry Christmas.”

Emma’s eyes fixated on the window, where she could see the snow falling once again. When Regina joined her, it felt as though she had finally found her place for Christmas.

“Merry Christmas, Emma.”

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Any mention of blueberries, rancid tuna, stocking stuffers, and ridiculing haters are not mine. In short, I didn't really write this story so much as I compiled a bunch of brilliant comments into some semblance of a plot.


End file.
